


Parentlock! All about Hamish

by Katiehaigh76



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-02-13 21:46:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2166333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katiehaigh76/pseuds/Katiehaigh76
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock makes a sudden return from being dead and realises the effects that him being away has had on his son.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I actually wrote this last year some time, I'm just getting round to posting these on this site. I think it was my second fic i wrote so I apologise if the writing sucks!

What's wrong? Why is Hamish in the hospital? SH  
Who is this? JW  
John, it's me. It's Sherlock. SH  
No I watched him fall to his death. So who the hell is this? Because it's a bit bloody twisted and messed up! JW  
John it really is me, I swear! Please, what's wrong with our son? Please tell me I need to know! SH  
He collapsed the other day, where the hell are you? How did you know he was here? JW  
I'm at Mycrofts he told me, how do you think i knew? SH  
How could you do something like this to us Sherlock? If this really is you anyway JW  
It's me , I swear! The first time we met I asked you Afghanistan or Iraq based off your tan line, cell phone and the way you were standing. You still keep the cane you used in the hall close, because you fear you'll need it again. You know that I when at home i have a nickname for Hamish which is Mish. SH  
3 years Sherlock! 3 years! You left us believing you were dead for 3 years! JW  
I'm sorry, but I had to protect you and Hamish it was the only way! I was going after Moriartys men, he had people that were going to kill you all if i didn't jump, I couldnt let you think I was alive. SH  
Get the hell here now! JW  
What room? I'm already at Barts. SH  
231 JW

Sherlock quickly made his way upstairs in the building. The tears that had pooled in his yes, not yet falling as he lightly knocked on the door to the room John and Hamish were in. He quietly and slowly pushed the door open in fear that Hamish was sleeping and not wanting to wake him. He looked thinner and more pale since the last time they saw him 'alive' he thought as he stepped into the room. John looked to the door seeing Sherlock but he didn't speak a word to him, he just looked back at Hamish who was sleeping. " Uhm...." Sherlock said as he closed the door and looked at Hamish for a moment before returning his gaze to John sitting next to the bed. John didn't speak, words couldn't describe how annoyed he was at Sherlock, he simply moved his jaw from side to side just looking still at his son. Sherlock moved and and sat down in the chair next to John, though he didn't know what to say or do.   
" I need to talk to you outside " John finally spoke as he got up from his chair leaving the room. Sherlock looked to Hamish once more before he followed Sherlock outside, closing the door behind them. " What the hell Sherlock?" were Johns first words.   
" I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to have to do any of this, but I needed the both of you safe John! I couldn't of lived with myself if you weren't. He was going to kill you both!" Sherlock began trying to defend him self.   
" No Sherlock 3 years! 3 whole years! Don't you understand how hard it has been for us? For Hamish?" John retorted.  
" I know how it was hard to be away from the both of you, it was like having my heart ripped out and torn apart! It hurt me too you know! I had to make you believe I was dead! If you didn't and they knew I was alive they would of killed you on the spot! Please John you must understand! "  
" Oh I do Sherlock, you abandoned us, you know Hamish couldn't deal with it, with your death that is. He got depressed, he would just sit in his room all day just staring at the wall mostly. I told you that he collapsed Sherlock I never told you why."  
" Why did he? " Sherlock asked, dreading what the answer would be.  
" He didn't eat. He didn't eat because he wanted to die Sherlock! He said he wanted to see his dad again. Don't you get it Sherlock? You pulling such a stupid stunt like that has made our own son want to kill himself! Just so that he could be with his dad again." Sherlock put a hand over his mouth and leaned against the wall as he tried hard to take in what John had just him, it really was all his fault. He felt tears that threatened to fall. John didn't care what Sherlock was feeling, he was too angry and annoyed at him for he had done to him and their son. " I hated you for it and I still do."   
Sherlock lowered his hand from his mouth, tears began to stream down his face " I never wanted this to happen. Not this, not ever. I-I understand you hating me John, I do."  
" Oh what did you want to happen? For us just to be perfectly fine without you for 3 years, believing you had killed yourself. Welcoming you back with open arms? This is real Sherlock. You did this! I understand you needing to protect the both of us, but you could of found a way to tell you were alive! That's all he needed, we could of accepted knowing you were going to be away for a while, but knowing you were dead? Killed yourself? Just no Sherlock." He said and walked off back into Hamishs room leaving Sherlock outside.


	2. Chapter 2

Sherlock stayed standing outside for another 10 minutes as tears continued to stream down his face after hearing what John had told him. He wiped his eyes and pulled himself together. He went to enter the room opening the door slowly, knowing it was quite likely he wasn't going to be welcome back in there. John saw Sherlock coming back into the room " I don't know how you can still show your face " he said not turning to look at him. Sherlock knew he wasn't welcome 

" I suppose it's best if I just leave " He mumbled out in a low voice as he turned around going to leave, opening the door. 

"Dad?" Hamish said as he sat up in his bed rubbing his eyes as hearing the voices around him had woken him up. Sherlock stopped, his hand gripped the door handle as he tried to keep more tears from streaming down his face, he took a deep breath and turned around.

" Hello son " Sherlock replied.

" No, you're dead! This isn't fair!" He shouted seeing his dad stood at the door. He broke down into tears, annoyed that his mind was continuing to play tricks on him. Still seeing his dad when he wasn't really there. Sherlock's heart broke even more hearing his son say that, though he didn't think it was possible. He walked over to Hamish and sat down on the bed, putting a hand to Hamish's face 

" No, no I'm not dead. I'm here, it's me. I'm so sorry Mish. I really am."

Hamish sniffled as he looked up seeing his dads face, he looked to his father " Is he really here?" He asked John. He didn't trust his own mind anymore, he was always seeing his dad around when he wasn't there. 

John nodded" Yeah it's him " he confirmed. Hamish looked back to Sherlock and grasped onto him for dear life, for once he was real. Sherlock's arms wrapped tightly around his son.

" I'm so sorry Mish, I am." Sherlock repeated as he buried his face into Hamish's hair and held onto him tightly too. Hamish continued to cry in his dads arms as he grasped onto Sherlock's coat. He could barely believe he was actually there, he just assumed it was another dream. It was too good to be true he thought and he would wake up any second now. " I'm here. I'm not leaving you again Hamish. I'm not, I swear it." Sherlock promised his son as he gathered in his crying a bit, trying to soothe Hamish's.

He pulled away from his dad sniffling as he wiped his eyes with his sleeve. " Why would you do that? I thought you loved us? You just left. No explanation. Nothing. Father just came home that day and said you killed yourself, I told him it wasn't true that you couldn't of, but he saw you do it." John looked down at his hands as he fiddled with them hearing Hamish saying that, even though Sherlock was alive, it still haunted him. Sherlock took hold of Hamish's hand and lowered it. He began to wipe at Hamish's tears.

" If I hadn't then some very bad people were going to kill you and your Father. I had to protect the both of you Mish. I did it to save you." Hamish sniffled again touching the hand that Sherlock had wiped his tears with still finding it hard to believe he was actually there.

" I want to go home " He said to his dad. 

" You can't go home home until they discharge you " Sherlock told him softly gently stroking Hamish's hand.

" I want to go home!" He said louder this time, he was very irritable lately.

Sherlock looked to John and then back to Hamish. " Quiet down Hamish, let me go talk to the nurses, see what they say okay?" He nodded as he sniffled wiping his nose with his sleeve again as Sherlock got up to go speak to the nurses.

Sherlock came back awhile later putting his phone back into his pocket as well when he stepped into the room. He looked at John and then sent a small smile to Hamish, "you may go home, Mish. It's been taken care of." Hamish beamed upon hearing that, ripping out the IV that had been fixed into his arm. " Ha-" John began to tell Hamish. But walked off to talk to Sherlock whilst Hamish hurried getting ready " what did they say?" John asked " they said he wasn't to be released for a while "

"There's a more than capable doctor in his household. He was released to your care, John." Was all Sherlock told him. It had taken some work to get Hamish released but he got it done, just as his son asked him to.

John took a deep breath " fine alright then, I suppose that's alright " he said looking to Hamish " He's In a bad way Sherlock."

"I know, John." Sherlock said softly to the man. He could deduce what was wrong and he just hoped it would get better now that he had returned. "You're a doctor, you know what needs to be done..." 

" It can't just be fixed over night Sherlock! This is months of damage, years in fact! He needs to eat" John told him, his tone slightly raised

" Dad?" Hamish said.

"Yeah, Mish?" Sherlock answered him and didn't answer John.

" Can we go now ? " he asked. He had heard what the both of of them were saying, talking about him like he wasn't there. But he didn't really care now, he was quite used to whole thing about people talking behind his back, he just wanted to go home.

"Yes, you and your father can go home now, Mish." Sherlock told him nodding a bit. He figured he wasn't welcomed back to Baker Street at the moment, but Hamish could go home with John.

" Come on Hamish " John smiled though Hamish looked quite confused as he looked to John then to Sherlock.

" No I want you to come with me! You said you wouldn't leave me again! You promised!" Hamish said as he started to well up. Backing up against the wall and sliding down, his head in his hands " You promised! " he shouted as began to cry again.

Sherlock rushed to him. He looked up at John a moment as he kneeled down beside his son. "I will. I'll come with you. I know I promised Mish. I know I did." Sherlock said softly trying to calm him down a bit.

Hamish sniffled and slowly looked up at his dad " I can't lose you again " he said clinging onto to him " Don't ever leave again dad " he said wiping his eyes.

" Lets go home " he sniffled as he got up and grabbed his bag. John smiled faintly helping Sherlock to his feet " yeah lets " John also said. Sherlock nodded and let his hand linger a moment on John's shoulder before following both of them out of the room.


	3. Chapter 3

They arrived back at Baker Street 20 minutes later " I think you better go say hello to a certain someone before you frighten her and give her a heart attack" John said nodding to Mrs Hudsons flat. "Come on Hamish " he said leading his son up the stairs leaving Sherlock downstairs. Sherlock sighed after he watched John and Hamish walk into their flat and walked over to Mrs Hudson's door and knocked on it waiting for her to answer. A minute or so later she opened her door seeing the tall slender figure stood in front of her " Sherlock?" She said in disbelief " No Surely I must be seeing things!"

Sherlock smiled slightly " No Mrs Hudson it really is me, I know you thought I was dead" He began.

She took a back as she looked at him, almost making sure it was him " Sherlock! " she shouted slapping his arm " Don't do that! We've been out of our minds and John and Hamish! Didn't you ever think about them!" She started to say loudly " you've pulled some stunts in your time but never this!" She sighed as she walked back into her flat clearly not amused by Sherlock so called stunt.

"No! Mrs. Hudson, you don't understand. I was protecting them! I had to, otherwise they would've been killed. I couldn't risk it!" Sherlock calls after her as she's walking away from him.

" Oh I'm sure! Leaving poor John and Hamish like that! Some sort of father you are!" She said back to him

Sherlock stills and has to hold back even more tears. "I know. I'm a horrible husband and an even worse father. I know, you don't have to t-tell me."

" Go on be off with you, it's them you need to make it up to. Three years of it. " She said shooing him away.

Sherlock wiped at his face and nodded before making his way upstairs back to their flat.

The door had been left open and Hamish saw his dad walking up the stairs and smiled, he still barely believed this was actually happening that his dad was back. When he arrived at the doorway Hamish grasped onto him " Tea Sherlock?" John asked.

"Tea would be lovely." Sherlock said as he moved towards the sofa with Hamish and sat down. Sherlock looked around. Nothing had changed....except a few added items here and there.

Hamish sat down at his dads side as he leaned onto his chest holding his torso, now he had gotten him back he never wanted to let him go. John arrived back with the cups of tea 5 minutes later handing him a cup as he sat down next to Sherlock with his own cup.

"Thank you." Sherlock told John as he accepted the cup of tea. One arm around Hamish and one holding his tea, he continued looking around the flat. 

" Nothing has changed " John said as he saw Sherlock's eyes scanning the flat " we kept it just as it was , Hamish insisted " He said

"It was perfect just like it was it reminded me of you" Hamish smiled looking up at dad.

Sherlock nodded with a small smile. There was a question at the tip of his tongue, but he held back from asking it right now. Things were perfect just as they were. Hamish nuzzled his dads chest feeling content that he was back, honestly it was the happiest John had seen Hamish in a very long he hasn't been the same since Sherlock 'died' John thought to himself.

Sherlock smiled and kissed the top on Hamish's head lovingly. "Hey, Mish? Would you do something for me?"

He looked up at his dad again " yeah sure" he smiled.

"Eat something." Sherlock said looking down at his son with a serious expression.

The happy smile soon faded from his face as he let go of his dad " I don't want to " he said as he looked away from his dad and down at the floor.

"You need to, Mish. Please?" Sherlock softly begged him.

" No! " he said slightly loudly shifting away from his dad so he was no longer hugging him close. He pulled his knees up close to his chest as he held himself in a bundle.

Sherlock sighed a bit at his sons refusal. "Why don't you want to eat?" 

" Because I don't want to! " he now shouted getting up from the sofa he was sat on with his dad. He then ran off to his room slamming his door as he fell onto his bed. 

John looked to Sherlock " This is exactly what I've had to put up with the whole time you've been gone."

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry." Sherlock told him looking at him. "Why won't he eat? I'm home, I'm not leaving him again. Why wont he eat?" Sherlock asked unable to understand.

" Did you just expect him to be to be all fine and back to normal when you got home? It doesn't work like that Sherlock the damage has already been done. Yeah he started to be like that when you were gone but it's just got worse it can't be fixed just with you coming back you know. There's no magical cure to this. "

"I know, John. I know. You don't have to yell it at me." Sherlock said to him, leaning back on the sofa and crossing his arms.

John sighed " Sorry, it's just been hard. You were gone and Hamish is like this, I had to stop working for a while and he stopped going to school. I had to make sure he was having at least one meal and taking his medication but even that has become a struggle. You know that was the third time he's been to hospital for collapsing like that."

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I was just trying to protect you both. I've only made things worse here, though." Sherlock said quietly to keep his voice from cracking and his emotions showing. Words couldn't describe how guilty he felt, all he could do was say sorry.

" Yeah I know you were Sherlock, but real life went on, we couldn't cope without you. Hamish couldn't cope. He needs his medication, will you go give him it?" He asked getting up from the sofa as he went to the cupboard in the kitchen getting some tablets out and getting a glass of water.

"Yeah. Yeah I will." Sherlock said shrugging off his coat and taking the tablets and water from John before making his way up to Hamish's room.

" Good luck " John whispered after Sherlock had left as he returned to the table pulling out his laptop. Hamish was sat on his bed reading a book.

Sherlock knocked on the door lightly. "Mish? Can I come in?" He asked.

Hamish looked to door. He got up from his bed and opened the door then went and sat back on the bed and he continued to read not saying a word to his dad.

Sherlock entered his son's room and sat down at the foot of the bed. "What are you reading?" He questioned lightly.

He held the book up so Sherlock could see the title before returning it back down, still not talking to him.

"Please talk to me, son." Sherlock begged him.

" I know what you're going to do " Hamish said looking to Sherlock's hands.

"I know you do Mish." Sherlock sighed. "You deduce just like I do, you know that? I'm sorry I wasn't here for the past three years." Sherlock apologized once again to his son, setting the tablets and water down on his bedside table.

I'm not taking them " Hamish said before Sherlock attempted to give him them " Why do you keep saying that? Sorry doesn't make the last three years go away " Hamish said picking his book up again.

"Just a bit ago, you wouldn't let me out of your sights and now this. I'm not forcing you to do or take anything, but what happened between the door and the sofa that made your attitude change towards me so quickly?" Sherlock asked him.

" I remembered what it was like to not have you, you tried to make me eat, I don't want to! You're just like him." 

Sherlock nodded. "You're right. I am, I care about you enough to not want to see you sick, or any worse than you are now, because you're not eating. I've been there. I know what it's like, and what you're going through."

" How could you possibly know what I'm going through! You don't know anything!" Hamish shouted at his dad. John heard the raised voices and he glanced in the direction of Hamish's room sighing.

"Because I had the same bloody eating problem until I married your Father." Sherlock told him raising his voice a bit as well.

"You did?" Hamish said quite surprised.

"Yeah, I did." Sherlock tells him. Happy that he wasn't yelling anymore.

"Then you'll understand why I don't want to eat, why can't people accept that!"

"Because they don't know what it's like to not be hungry the way they are when they eat." Sherlock tells him honestly.

" I'm sorry for shouting at you. " Hamish apologized as he huddled close to his dad thinking maybe there was someone that actually understood him.

"It's okay. I used to get that way with Uncle Mycroft. I'd scream and shout and sometimes hit. I just didn't want to eat." 

Hamish smiled faintly " You two never got on " he commented.

John had walked to Hamish's room standing at the doorway deciding to see if everything was alright from the shouting he heard earlier. " Everything alright?" He asked.

"Yeah, everything's alright." Sherlock tells John before chuckling a bit, "no we never really did but I know now that he just wanted to help me get better." He said to Hamish.

John smiled as he left the pair of them " I know, but I just don't want to " Hamish told his dad.

"I know you don't, Mish." Sherlock told him. "I didn't really get better until I married your Father, like I said. I didn't have a need to get better before that because I didn't have anyone that I really cared enough about to get better for."

" So does that mean that I don't have to ?" He asked hopefully.

"That depends. Do you care about your Father and I enough to want to get better or not?" Sherlock asked him. " I know we both love you and would do anything for you."

" Of course I care about you both! You're my dads, I just don't want to eat, why does it make a difference? It doesn't mean I care about you both any less " He feeling a little lost and confused with himself.

"I know, Hamish." Sherlock pulled him closer to him, "we just want you healthy. We don't want to lose you."

He sighed as he was brought closer. " Why is everything so hard Dad?" He said as he lent against him.

Sherlock shrugged a bit. "Because life isn't easy....but in the end it's worth it."

" What's the end? " He questioned " When you're dead?" Hamish asked.

"No, the end is when you make the decision or allow yourself to get better." Sherlock told him softly before bending down to kiss the top of his head.

"Then why do you call it the end?" He asked.

"Because it's the end of the pain and suffering you've gone through by not eating."

" But I'm not " Hamish denied. " I'm okay now that you're back " He smiled faintly, looking up to Sherlock.

"It still is not healthy, love. Not at all." Sherlock told him. "I got to the point where I would eat, but I only ate every three days and only enough to keep my mind functioning and me standing upright."

" I don't care, I don't like it " he sighed. " I do that! But Father moans at me saying it's not enough eating every 5 days, he said I'm just like you."

Sherlock chuckled, " You are just like me. All I'm asking is that you gradually try and eat a eat a bit more. I won't force you, I just want you to try though. Can you do that for me? Please, Mish?" 

He looked up at his dad and back at the floor as he thought about the question " okay then, but as long I don't have to take those either " he said looking at the tablets on the bedside table.

"Don't tell your Father but I'm sure I can figure something out, okay?" Sherlock said. "Can I ask why you don't like them though?"

" I don't want them. They're annoying. Father always said they were just vitamin tablets but I don't believe him " Hamish admitted.

Sherlock nodded. "Alright. Don't tell him and I'll make sure that you don't have to take them."

" Really? " He said quite surprised " Thanks " He smiled hugging his Dad.

"Of course, Mish." Sherlock hugged him back, just a bit tighter.


End file.
